Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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