in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
