Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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