i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
