Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
