you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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