my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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