He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
