is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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