i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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