my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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