Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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