We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
