dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
