Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this just has baby written all over it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
