you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
