All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
