Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
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