You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
