is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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