Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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