I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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