Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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