So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
