It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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