i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
