I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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