i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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