There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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