at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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