And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
