I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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