Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
