I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize