Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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