waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
