you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Vodka?
Forever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
