i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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