Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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