Buhtt sex?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
