I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
