I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
