It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
