Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
