it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
