did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
