I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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