Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize