I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
