Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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