There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
