kristin has been a bad kristin
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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