the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
