How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im holly from the hills drunk
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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