Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
