Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
