Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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