It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
