Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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