you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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