Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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