Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
