we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
