Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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