drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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