Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
