Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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