Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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